Friday, June 25, 2010

Aquino Ass-Kissing World Cup

While the World Cup is being held in South Africa, we in the Philippines are hosting the 2nd Aquino Ass-Kissing World Cup (The first AAK World Cup was held in 1986 and was then called the Cory Rump-Kiss Cup).

Vying for first place is Team Manila led by Mayor Fred Lim who scored a whopping 50 points with his "Outstanding Manileno" Maneuver. Yes, sports fans, Mayor Lim gave Noy Aquino, a known resident of Times Street, West Triangle, Quezon City, an award for Outstanding Manileno! What nerves of steel! Beat that, ABiaS-CBN!

But wait! Team ABiaS-CBN (also known as Team Dos) isn't about to let Team Manila go for gold. Team Dos is going for the "All Aquino, All the Time" News Program ploy! Wow! What a big kiss-in-the-ass performance, ladies and gentlemen! this earned Team Dos an additional 45 points!

Team Kamag-Anak Inc. simply won't be outdone and has employed the "backstabbers" move. Team Captain Peping is leading the charge with his patented "don't listen to them... listen to Me" stance doubled with the "blood is thicker than water" ploy. Man, that chin has got to be aerodynamic! We are not certain how effective his ploy will be versus Team Bulong Brigade though, who has employed the Magsulsol sa Pangulo technique to counter Team Kamag-anak Inc.'s advances!

Hold on, folks! it seems another team is vying for the AAK Cup, and this team's ploy may just land them first place! Team Penk led by their team Captain Penk Chink has let lose their secret weapon-- The "Inaugural Cake" Move which is supposed to be a Wolrd Cup first! Wow!! And wait! They are also employing the "It's Absolutely Free" coupled with the "It's Banana Walnut Flavor" maneuver. What a move! It seems for now that Team Penk has the nod of referees Ballsy, Pinky, Viel and Kris!

It's going to be a hot fight for Aquino Ass-Kissing World Cup, folks! Who will win the World Cup this year? We will know on June 30! Abangan!

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